The thing about horror movie situations is imma do my best to help you but if we running and you fallin or we hidin and you whimperin and sobbin, that’s it! I can’t do nothing else for you! You have made the choice to be a damsel in distress and boo this ain’t Camelot I have 0 time to die
thanks :) btw what r u doing tonight around 1 am u should meet me @ the park come alone
HAHAHA HOLY SHIT WE WERE LOOKING AT PICTURES OF SURGERIES IN CLASS AND ALL THE GUYS WERE HOOTING AT THE SLICED BREAST ONES AND THEN THE TEACHER SWITCHED TO A PENIS PIC WHERE IT WAS CUT OPEN AND SOME 300LB JOCK DOUCHEBAG FAINTED RIGHT OUT OF HIS CHAIR BOYS ARE WEAK BOYS ARE FUCKING WEAK
which one of you assholes turned this into a popular text post
my favourite insults are the ones where you just take a noun and a swear and mash them together. what’s up pisscouch? how you doin’ fucktrain. hope you’re havin’ a swell day, asslamp
1 time in my english class there was a fly going around the room and it was annoying everyone and it came over to my desk and i caught it with my hand and like 15 ppl started clapping but i couldn’t get up to throw it in the trash because i had a boner
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest
For Lent I’m just giving up in general
oh my god guys there’s someone downstairs and my mom’s asleep and i can’t remember if i locked the front door??
screw it okay i’ve got my phone and my pepper spray im going down there
UPDATE: I MAY HAVE JUST PEPPER SPRAYED SANTA
i’m just now recalling that my grandfather is famous for having shot the Easter Bunny i think this may be a family business
when you hold a boy’s dick you hold all of their power. they are powerless. you can either give them an orgasm or destroy them.
The flight attendant just announced “If you don’t like any of my jokes, there are six exits” and told us where the emergency exits are it was actually the best
"for those of you who are traveling with children… WHY"
"if you’re changing to a flight with a different airline, we don’t care."
he said “okay now get out” once we landed i’m pissing myself
Mimimal Video Game Posters.
by Danilo Caldararo.